You know that part in the movie “Talladega Nights” where Will Ferrell’s character Ricky Bobby is being interviewed and he doesn’t know what to do with his hands? That is what socializing and networking for me is like, its like I don’t quite know what to do with my hands.
I would rather be at home, binge-watching a show and hanging out with my husband. I like my time alone, in my head, in my little world.
You could say I’m an introvert.
It’s taken me a long time to realize that my introversion is not some professional character flaw. It has not set me back professionally. My reserved nature means that I have to be mindful about how I manage my attention and energy levels when it comes to networking and socializing. It means knowing that I do better in certain social situations versus others.
For the most part, I do not like, what I like to call, “chamber mixers” or “rubber chicken lunches.” I’m sure you have been to a similar event before – networking events where you are thrown into a room with hundreds of people, eating mediocre appetizers, holding an overpriced beer and trying to talk to random strangers. These events can be very, very painful. The haphazard nature of who attends these events makes it seem like a real-life version of Tinder. But instead of bad dates, you just get bad conversations.
So, what’s the antidote for networking mixers like these?
Structure and Format: An Introvert’s Best Friends
There are other types of networking events besides large assemblies of random people. In my experience, I feel much more comfortable attending events that have structure and format built into them (rather than a networking free-for-all).
Conferences are one of my favorite networking events because a) they attract a large group of like-minded people and b) you get to learn something to boot. You can talk to your fellow conference attendees but don’t forget to talk to the speakers before or after their presentation. If you do not get the chance to say hi in person, send them an email with a few thoughtful questions thrown in.
An event series I’ve recently discovered is 1 Million Cups (1MC). 1MC is an event for local entrepreneurs to meet and present their startups to their local business community. The program was developed by the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation and is based on the idea that “entrepreneurs discover solutions and engage with their communities over a million cups of coffee.”
The format of these events goes something like this:
Once a week, two small, local businesses make a short presentation about their business. Then the audience gets to ask them questions and critiques of their business. Lastly, the 1MC moderator will ask the speaker “What can we do help you?”
I like the 1MC events because it gives me something to talk about (introverts are great at asking lots of questions), it’s a dynamic group of folks, and the whole event is done over coffee.
Socialize with a Purpose
Another great opportunity to network is by volunteering, or what I like to call, socializing with a purpose. Now, I am not advocating that you volunteer for an organization that you do not have the heart for. I believe that when a person gives, whether that is money or their time, they should give with their whole heart, not expect anything in return, and give to causes they believe in. At the same time, that doesn’t mean you can’t make friends and possible business connections along the way.
When you volunteer, you are automatically joining a group of like-minded people. This is key – it gives you something to talk about with your fellow volunteers. And who knows, you might have other things in common. (You most likely will).
Find an organization or two that you can devote your time and talents to – organizations that give you the greatest chance of doing good while also crossing paths with people you might be able to work in the future.
Network & Learn
Learning in a group is a great way to meet people. This can take the form of a course at a local university or a more focused seminar series.
Taking a class, much like volunteering, puts you in a room with like-minded people. And since it’s not a one-time thing, like a conference or workshop, you can take the time to get to know people and really bond with your classmates and instructors.
Take a Chance and Expand Your Network
When I was a senior in college, I went to a conference just for new marketing professionals. I went to a panel and there was one speaker who was so funny and engaging, that I made it my mission at that moment to introduce myself, say hi and get his card. Then I ran home to email him (don’t giggle, it was 2004) and thanked him for his time and insights, and I asked him if he would be open to giving me fifteen minutes of his time for an informational interview.
I did several informational interviews with other marketing professionals over the course of that year and I have to say, most of them were just okay. But this one interview, with the panelist from the conference, turned into an internship at United Way of King County, a real milestone in my early marketing career. When I go to a networking event, I try to keep that memory in mind – that sometimes all it takes is a hello and a little following up to spark something big.
Remember, you are not trying to become friends with everyone. That would be exhausting. You are merely trying to widen your social circle a little – just enough for a little bit of luck and opportunity to get through.