I am always learning from my kids. While I try to guide them and nudge them in the direction I think is best for them, the truth is, being their Mother teaches me so much more than I could ever teach them.

Just this week, my high school age daughter was talking to my sons about the difficulties of middle school. Although there were tough days, she actually bore it pretty well, and came out of it with some very sage advice for her brothers on how best to navigate it. And I couldn’t help but notice that it sounded a great deal like the branding advice we give here on the Porch:

“Know Yourself” – It’s a broad, sweeping statement as it relates to being a kid, and the same is true of business; but it is the best piece of advice one can give in both instances. I sadly witnessed many kids trying too hard to be something they weren’t to gain acceptance from a particular group or person. Middle school sharks can sniff that behavior out, and savvy consumers can do the same thing! Embrace who you are and run with it. It is so much better than trying to be all things to all people.

“Be Consistent” – I almost got whiplash watching the roller coaster friendship ride, I can’t imagine how hard it was to live it. The one thing my daughter struggled with the most were girls who were friends in some circumstances but not in others. Friends need to know they can trust and count on each other, just as your customers need to know they can trust and count on you. Be consistent in your messaging. Be consistent in your interaction. Be consistent in your delivery.

“Be Original” – This advice may go against the survival instinct of any middle schooler, because fitting in is everything at this age; but I watched my daughter make original choices over and over again, and I think it served her very well. She chose electives and activities that truly interested her – not just those that “everyone else was doing.” As a result, she has a wide cross-section of friends, and she is a much more interesting person for having taken that route. Branding demands that your business also be original. You must stand out from your competitors. Make bold, original choices. You will be remembered for them.

“Have Depth” – This last one isn’t my daughter’s advice, it’s mine. My daughter has tremendous depth of character, and I admire it immensely. So do her friends. Your business must have the same layers of meaning and purpose to create a sense of emotion around your brand.

Know Yourself. Be Consistent. Be Original. Have Depth. Important branding choices for your business. Important choices for living your life.

Rock on, friends!

Our oldest son plays baseball in the North Arlington Little League. Last year, his team, the Pirates, had an undefeated season and won the championship game. Of course, we celebrated the win.

Players moved up and on, but we returned for another season. It started out smoothly enough – the games were competitive, but the team was winning. Then we had a tied game. Then we lost.

No big deal, right?

Wrong.

We celebrated the wins, we worked for the wins, we appreciated the wins. However, we neglected to prepare for the possibility of a loss. For two years, the team was coached and played to win. We should have also been coached and prepared to lose.

There is value in the lessons we learn from losing and sports give us a good arena to teach these lessons to our children.

These are valuable lessons that can be applied in parenting, business and life:

• Respect.
  For every winner, there is a loser. You have to respect both. Period. Respect your team, respect the other team. Act accordingly.
• Resiliency.
  It’s ok to be disappointed or upset after a loss. But the quicker you put a loss behind you, the closer you are to the next win. Fast recovery serves anyone at any age well. Vince Lombardi said, “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.” Recover and move forward.
• Review.
  If you review the why in your losses and strengthen your weaknesses, new opportunities will arise. In sports no game has ever been lost the same way.
• Humility.
  Losing challenges us and keeps us humble. It teaches us there are others who are better. The emphasis should be motivated to be better.

Preparing for winning and losing is critical. It is far better to lose and learn than to always win and not learn how to lose. If winning and losing were not important, we would not keep score.

If you are a business owner, an employee, a student or a teammate, what do you have to lose?

An account, a promotion, an employee, a score, a game? The answer is yes, all of these and more. But the bigger question is – what are you learning and how are you improving?

So what about the 2016 Pirates? Well, they are heading to the championship game. They earned their spot with three consecutive wins in a double elimination playoff. Regardless of the outcome, valuable lessons will be learned. Go Pirates!

Highs and lows in life are inevitable. Things change, our realities shift and sometimes we find ourselves in a low cycle. Although these times in our life are never fun, they offer tremendous opportunities for growth. When you find yourself facing adversity, look for these silver linings:

1. You will find strength you never knew you had. Often times we fear the worst case scenario and wonder how we will handle failure. The answer is, you will be fine. You will persevere. And discovering this truth is empowering.

2. You will find your people. During tough times, look around. Who is there supporting you? Really supporting you? These are your people. Everyone else is periphery. Again, this discovery is a gift.

3. You will simplify your life. In times of confusion and strife, simplification is necessary. You must focus on only what is truly important. Everything that isn’t important falls away.

4. Your character and conviction will get you through. Regardless of where you find yourself, there is a reason. Stay the course. Remain true to what you know is right and honorable. There is peace in this.

It’s during hard times that we learn the most valuable lessons in life.

Silver. Linings.

Daylight savings time, warmer days and busy baseball fields are here, and when spring arrives, we usually feel another year is moving forward more quickly than a fastball! As we turn the corner to the second quarter of the year, it’s a great time to slow down a bit and think about how we can get more fresh air, brighten up our homes, and breathe some life into our one of our all-time favorite events – the business team meeting. Yes, I just said the dreaded word, meeting.                                                                                                                                           

It’s time to spring clean your meeting!

Why? Because none of us gets excited when hearing we have to attend another meeting, and most of us have heard or said it numerous times, “that meeting was a waste of my time!” Folks, if time is our most valuable asset, how can we stop spending it in unproductive meetings, and what will it take to change-up the agenda and make it worth it? If it’s time for spring cleaning, where do we start?

We start by changing our thought process to get rid of the old and start with the new. The traditional meeting that is set and run by a boss, who does most of the talking, and calls on individual employees to report their progress, does nothing to engage the team.  I have run these types of meetings in my prior work and learned the hard way that the bored looks, fidgeting, and glances at the mobile phones were caused by my failure to recognize the needs of the team.  I learned that I needed their help in changing everything about how we ran meetings, including thinking of them as “our meetings” vs. my meetings.

Once we are willing to think differently and engage with each other in change, it’s time to ask a ton of questions. Getting feedback is critical, so be persistent until the team is open to talking about the type of meeting wanted. If you have flexibility in date, time, location – put the question to the team and ask what works best. If you can involve everyone in setting the agenda – do it! Ask open-ended questions such as – what do we want to discuss, who do we want to hear from, what do we want to learn, who should we invite and why? Throw out old paradigms and bring in fresh ideas and perspectives from everyone on the team.

As the agenda starts coming together, someone on the team must organize it and everything else about the meeting so everyone gets the most out of the time spent. An advanced communication should be sent to all attendees to include date, start and end times, break times, location, dress code, names of attendees/guests, meeting objectives/agenda and if food or drink will be served. All of this information can be included in one final agenda document, and also available at the meeting. An organized meeting produces the best results, and everyone leaves feeling their time has been appreciated and well spent.

Spring cleaning isn’t easy, but we all know it’s worth the effort. As you consider thinking differently, engaging with each other to make changes, and organizing yourselves for more productive time spent, keep in mind two key things:

• If you are a leader, understand meetings are not all about you and engage others in helping you improve the time spent together. To have a successful meeting requires you to listen.

• If you are a participant, share your suggestions for the agenda well before the meeting and be willing to speak up during the meeting. To have a successful meeting requires you to contribute.

Finally, when you attend a meeting think about how many times you have asked a family member to put their technology aside at the dinner table or when speaking with you. We should all do the same in our meetings. Unplug and engage.

Your meetings will rock! Get to that spring cleaning friends, and we’ll see you later on the Porch.

You’ve cultivated your own personal brand. You’ve pulled together an impressive resume, collected letters of recommendation, completed service hours, cleansed and monitored social media profiles. You are a model citizen waiting to hear the results of your application. Only, this isn’t a job application, or even a college application. This is the high school entrance process for magnet and private schools in Dallas. You heard me – high school.

These are 13 and 14-year-old students … and this is a typical experience for parents of middle schoolers this time of year.

I know I’m dating myself, but in my day, attending school was a relatively simple matter: application plus test and voila, you’re either in or you’re not. No big deal. In today’s uber competitive world, however, our young teens begin a grueling process that starts the year before. There are test prep classes, interview skills seminars, tutoring appointments, essay drafts, service hours and school tours. They begin building a resume that we never even dreamed of dealing with until college.

It is the crafting of what will become their personal brand.

In many ways it’s become a little too much. The transition from middle school to high school is fraught with plenty of landmines without this element of pressure added. But modeling the appropriate behaviors goes a long way in getting them through it. By reinforcing the process, not the outcome, it can become a learning experience. Along the way these children will learn resilience. Let’s face it, these are the years when teens face some of their first real rejection. It’s not easy.

Let me be clear, I am NO expert. We have one child and are muddling through with lots of good company in a wonderful environment filled with friends and other parents who are willing to share their experiences and offer tips. It’s an amazing village.

The good news is that there are plenty of options. With good counselors and faculty shepherding families through the process, the students will realize that the universe is watching out for them and whatever school they attend as freshman will be a good stepping stone for the next chapter of their academic experience. And the process teaches them that personal branding is an important part of their lives.

We tend to go through life amid a continual buzz that productivity brings – endless email, phone calls and deadlines. And although this productivity fuels our life, it is also important to drown out the distractions, and focus on the importance of listening.

To most of us, listening seems like common sense. Don’t we all listen? The answer is no. In fact, I myself have spent the last 20 years hearing people, rather than really listening. Only recently have I truly understood the difference.

My limited years of life experience may have rendered this realization obvious or trivial to others, but for my generation of millenials, this art is lost. As a generation of young people dependent on constant communication, we search for instant gratification and quick conversations to fill our days. I have found that recently as I focus on this idea, I have learned more about my friends and family, and even more about myself.

Stepping back and sincerely listening to what others are saying allows you to understand their point of view, interpret the problem better, and solve the problem more efficiently. Listening and having empathy towards others is something that is highly overlooked in the business world, and when implemented can really give you and your business an edge in a competitive market. In the marketing world, where client relationships make or break a deal, listening to your clients’ wants and needs is necessary to get the job done correctly.

So remember to take a step back, especially during this hectic holiday season, and listen to the people closest to you. Listen to your clients to better understand their goals and how they want to achieve them. Listen to your family and friends to understand their emotions and help problem solve. But most importantly, listen to yourself. Dedicate time daily to thinking about your happiness, goals and aspirations and listen to what your mind and body are telling you.

“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” –Ernest Hemingway

On the morning of September 11, 2001, I lay in bed gazing at my newborn daughter, then just 2 months old, who was sleeping in the bassinet beside me. My husband had left hours earlier for a business trip, and I sleepily turned the television on.

The chaos and confusion in New York was just unfolding. And as the hours passed, it became worse. And worse. And worse.

What I didn’t know then was that my husband was supposed to be in a meeting at the World Trade Center that morning. The meeting had been moved a short time prior to his office in midtown, where his co-workers watched the unfolding scene in horror from their conference room window.

I often think of how my family narrowly avoided tragedy that day. My daughter didn’t lose her father, but 3,051 other children did lose parents. Wives, husbands, friends, neighbors, employees, public servants – such a heartbreaking loss of life.

But what rose in the aftermath of those horrible events was a tremendous sense of community and service. It made us all proud to be Americans. And today, on the anniversary of September 11th, Americans will unite in service in the same remarkable way that so many came together following the attacks. This National Day of Service and Remembrance honors all that this day has come to represent.

It doesn’t take much to take me back to those days and feel the tragedy, the sadness. But what I want to remember more is the bravery. The fighting spirit. The selflessness. The coming together. The service.

Those are the things I want to walk with me. Today and always.

I admit it. I’m a bit of a black and white person. Figure it out, do what’s best, and move forward. “Moving on!” is a familiar refrain in my world.

So when we, as a family, decided it was time to sell our house and find a new one, I clipped along and got it done. Old house sold. New house bought. Packing. Moving. Planning.

Moving. On.

But what I didn’t count on in all my efficient trouncing forward was the emotional toll it would take on everyone around me. My children cried. A lot. My sweet, easy-going husband was wound tight as a drum and stomped around for several weeks. Even my animals became not themselves.

What was wrong? Didn’t we all want this? Weren’t we all excited about the moving on?

If I’d taken my moving on hat off for five minutes to really think about things, I would have realized that efficiency cannot take the place of closure. Recognizing the emotions associated with change, regardless of how positive the change is, is an important part of moving on. Perhaps the most important part.

What is true in life is also true in business. You must properly handle the endings to fully succeed in your beginnings. Clients. Employees. Jobs.

Pay proper attention to the things you are letting go.

Be gracious in your goodbyes.

I love what Ellen Goodman said on the matter, “There’s a trick to the ‘graceful exit.’ It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out.”

Essential for moving on.

You’re standing at the podium in front of the room with all 500 eyes on you. Waiting. On. Your. Every. Word. Is this your worst nightmare?

It can be a terrifying feeling for many – in fact, statistics indicate about 74% of people have a fear of public speaking. So if you can relate, you’re in good company. But knowing this doesn’t help when business requires a speech.

The solution? You’ve got to grab the presentation bull by the horns and practice. Honestly, the more you present, the better you’ll get, both in technique and in feeling relaxed when you’re at the head of the table.

Even if presenting doesn’t make you break out in a sweat, it never hurts to remind ourselves of a few best practices that will more fully engage audiences to achieve the desired outcome.

1. Research Your Audience. Know who you’re talking to – if you want to influence these people, you need to understand what they care about and what motivates them.

2. Start With a Good Story. Preferably one that the audience can relate to – and one that will make them laugh. Capture their attention right away.

3. Clarify the Goal of the Presentation. Before you even outline what you’re going to say, determine the end goal. Sharing a key process? Persuasion to a specific point of view? Providing status on a project? Then, as you’ve likely heard before, “Tell them what you’re going to tell them. Tell them. And tell them what you told them.” Keep it simple and on topic.

4. Make Eye Contact. Engagement happens when people feel like you’re talking to them versus at them. They’re more likely to actually hear you and buy into your content when they feel a more personal connection. Eye contact goes a long way in small, intimate meetings and large, seemingly impersonal audiences.

5. Project Your Voice. Everyone in the room, no matter how large, should be able to hear you – otherwise, what’s the point? Practice, if you can, in the room you’ll be in so you can gauge how loud you need to be – and don’t turn your back and talk to your slides instead of your audience.

6. Slow Down. Most people, when they’re nervous, don’t realize how quickly they talk. Concentrate on speaking slowly, pausing at key points, and giving meaning to your words.

7. Use Big Gestures. Not only is your voice and delivery important, so are your gestures. Command the space you’re inhabiting in front of the room. Move around, make a point with your hands – think like a TV weatherman! Your enthusiasm and passion for your subject should be evident in your actions.

8. Be Entertaining. A presentation is not the same as reading an informative article or textbook. It’s in person, and as such, the audience expects to have an emotional connection with the speaker. They want more than just the facts – they want to be engaged.

9. Anticipate Questions. Come prepared with answers to potential questions. You can’t possibly cover everything in one presentation, so what are people likely to ask? You’ve started a conversation, and an enthusiastic audience will want to know more.

10. Practice Like Crazy. Last but certainly not least, practice!!! When you know what you’re going to say backward and forward, you won’t have to worry about stumbling over words or losing your train of thought. And when you know your presentation, you won’t read slides, which keeps your audience focused on you.

Have more tips? All of us on the Porch would like to hear from you!

I love it when people ask me about our brand and how the name came to be. We enjoyed our branding process immensely; and we as a team love it when start-ups come to us with their business concept and ask us to help them name, brand and market it.

Just yesterday we were presenting logo options to a client who commented that they were impressed by our process for naming, preparing a creative brief and then developing logo concepts. The leadership team had no idea how much time, energy and thought went into the process and were curious whether we thought other start-ups went through a similar process.

Unfortunately, the answer is no.

But they should! Naming your brand is an important process and must be tackled in a diligent, thoughtful way. Choosing a strong name requires that it:

1. Stands out from the competition (unless it’s more important to fit in)
2. Communicates the business you’re in
3. Reinforces your brand promise
4. Communicates your company’s distinguishing characteristics
5. Has long term viability
6. Is easy to read
7. Is easy to pronounce
8. Is simple to spell
9. Is short and concise
10. Is memorable

Do the work on the front end to analyze your brand, your business, your competitors and your promise to ensure that your identity represents all that you want and need. You will save time, money and energy down the road if you start off right!