As I was thinking about whether to hit send on my email to Julie, I paused. I had read an article that was interesting to me and I thought Julie would find it interesting too. I momentarily reflected on the longevity of our working relationship together. But, was this article too much? Too personal?
The article was about a topic I care about deeply – but its also a very decisive topic, one I didn’t want to get into an argument with complete strangers about, let alone my boss.
I don’t know why I sent it. All I know is that I did.
My last thought before I hit send was, “Well, they say you should bring your whole self to work, right?”
Free Froot Loops For All!
Just like ping-pong tables, free breakfast cereal and standing desks before it, the notion of “bringing your whole self to work” is the latest business organizational fad that promises to revolutionize the world of work. It remains to be seen if this is truly the case, or so much business world mumbo jumbo that bursts like a yoga ball under the weight of sky-high expectations.
None of this was on my mind when I entered the workforce. I had the mindset that I didn’t go to work to make friends, these people were my co-workers, colleagues. Nothing more, nothing less. You go into the office, do your job, do good work, go home. Repeat.
I thought I was being “professional.” Looking back, I think I came off as aloof and maybe a little uptight.
Imagine my surprise when Julie would ask me on Monday mornings how my weekend went or if I did anything fun or interesting. “You mean you have an interest in my life outside of work?,” I thought. Huh.
But I digress. This blog post is supposed to be about bringing your whole self to work. But what does that even mean and why would anyone want to do that in the first place?
Bringing Your Whole Self to Work: What It Is
Let’s start by defining what bringing your whole self to work is, and then we can get into what it is not.
When you Google around, and look at the literature about bringing your whole self to work, there are a few common themes that come up. I am cherry-picking the 3 that matter most to me. They are Authenticity, Vulnerability, and Appreciation.
Authenticity – Mike Robbins, a popular thought leader on the topic, defines authenticity as honesty, minus self-righteousness plus vulnerability. People who are authentic with others are honest about the situation at hand, even if being honest means looking bad or it opens them up to criticism. Being authentic means being vulnerable.
Vulnerability – Its very difficult to put yourself in a vulnerable place. You don’t know what’s going to happen next. That’s why most people put on their “armor” when they walk through the office door. Best not to admit your fears or faults, lest someone use them against you. But overtime, that armor becomes incredibly heavy. It rusts and calcifies, and after a while, you do too.
Maybe its time to put the armor down, if only for a little while.
Appreciation – I don’t mean gold stars and carrots. Thank someone for the work they put in, not just the stellar end result.
Tell someone you admire the growth you’ve seen in them. Appreciate your co-workers kindness, thoughtfulness, people skills, etc. When you appreciate the little, human things about people, it makes their faults easier to understand, easier to accommodate, easier to work with. It also makes you easier to work with too.
Bringing Your Whole Self to Work: What It Is Not
Bringing your whole self to work is not:
- “Letting it all hang out.”
- Telling your co-workers about the most intimate parts of your love life.
- Berating people over past grievances.
- Clipping your nails at your desk, microwaving fish in the company kitchen, or making tacky, vulgar jokes for shock value.
Authenticity, and its close buddy vulnerability, is supposed to be productive when introduced in the office setting. It shouldn’t stop your co-workers in their tracks. It shouldn’t be cringey.
Authenticity should help your company grow and adapt.
Values: Your’s and Your Employer’s
Of course, bringing your whole self to work is a lot easier when your values match your employers and vice-versa. I never really thought I would be the type of person who cared about their work being fulfilling or not. I thought I would just go in, do my work, and that was it.
But a funny thing happens when you do work at a company or a series of companies where your values match your employers. You get the feeling that your co-workers actually care about you. Or that the work you do makes a difference to someone – not just money and profit, but a difference. You don’t want to let that go.
It turns out, human beings want to work with other human beings. And buy from other human beings. Who’d have thought.
I know this is harder to implement at some workplaces than others. That’s the problem with big, broad solutions – open offices! flexible seating! Mandatory yoga! – that are applied with a thick brush. They fail to take into account the particular contours of a business and its people.
Some businesses need their people to wear the armor, sometimes literally. Others, not so much. It is really up to each business leader to set the tone of how much vulnerability is allowed in their workplaces, how much of their whole selves their employees can take to work with them. That’s not something that can be decreed with the latest organizational business trend headline.
Vulnerability Unacknowledged
Front Porch Marketing is in a creative business. Our clients come to us for creative solutions, to find opportunities they don’t see, weaknesses they don’t detect. We can’t do these things without having some empathy for our clients and their customers.
Creativity comes from empathy, an ability to step outside of yourself and into someone else’s shoes. And with empathy, vulnerability often decides to pay a visit too. We must be honest with ourselves and with each other to help our clients. Or else our vulnerabilities can turn into blind spots, dangers just outside our peripheral vision that we know are there but we choose not to see or acknowledge.
But, What Does It Mean?
Anyway, back to that article. Julie and I had an interesting talk about it. We didn’t always see eye to eye, but that’s not why I sent it to her, to convince her one way or another. I guess I wanted to share something that is important to me.
Maybe that’s what bringing your whole self to work means. It means that you have the opportunity, if you choose to, to share with your co-workers the things that matter to you, without judgement or fear.
Well, that sounds a lot better than an open office.