Practicing gratitude as a business leader can be challenging at times. Sometimes it is hard for business leaders to know what to be grateful for because of the many hats we wear, and the myriad of opportunities thrown our way each day. The big stuff often overshadows the tiny pieces of our everyday lives for which we should be grateful.
However, science has shown that regularly practicing gratitude makes you happier. Doing so makes you a better leader, which makes your team happier.
Want to be thankful at a time when it seems impossible?
Focus on the here and now. Ask yourself what you are grateful for this very minute. Perhaps it is that you made it safely to work or appreciating your computer didn’t choose this instant to crash.
Actively listen to a team member. Take time to truly listen to people when they talk to you, even though your mind is going a million different directions.
Each time you talk to a team member, thank them for something. It doesn’t have to be a big something. Acknowledge a nicety they did for a teammate or client. Say a simple thanks for sharing their thoughts with you. Let them know when they brighten your day.
Remember your “why.” Consider how the work you do benefits the people for whom you do it. Be thankful you have the opportunity to lead.
As a leader, go beyond. Go beyond yourself. Focus on showing thanks to others. Take it beyond Thanksgiving. Focus on practicing gratitude beyond this season of Thanksgiving.. Strive to live a life of gratitude, not just a season.
Julie Porter, Chief Rocker, is grateful for her precious family and their health, Texas high school football and the fabulous Front Porch Marketing team, clients and advocates. She tries to focus on showing gratitude to others daily as often as possible.
And now for the second installment of our two-part series on The Great 8 of Marketing Success. Numbers 5-7 are distinctly digital in nature and deal with how you can communicate and meet your customers where they are. Our last recommendation caps off our series with a decidedly human touch.
Number 5: Website
Prospects – both clients and candidates – are going to your website to validate your company and expertise. Make sure you are communicating your point of differentiation and your brand personality.
Most service sites look the same, sound the same and make
the same mistakes. Take a look at your website and see if you can take it to
the next level:
Eliminate the word “we.” Replace it with “you”, “your”, “our clients”, or “our candidates.” It seems like a small distinction, but you might be surprised by how much more customer-centric your copy will sound once you replace one word.
Include links to your social networks. And if you already have links to your social networks – great! Are they up-to-date? Or do you still have a link to your Google+ account? ( Hint: you might want to delete that one.)
Sell results and testimonials. Third party endorsements go a long way and potential customers want to see the value you can bring to their company.
Use minimal stock photos. We get it – when you were getting your website off the ground, you used whatever you had on hand to get it done. But stock photos can reduce the credibility of your company and take from the authenticity of your brand. Make the investment and book a professional photographer.
Optimize the site for mobile. No one likes to pinch and zoom on their phone when they are trying to view a website. And increasingly, Americans of all ages are likely to say that they mostly access the internet on their smartphone.
Make it easy for people to contact you with a form and make sure your phone number and email address are front and center.
Number 6: Social Media
Consumers are increasingly using social media to not only connect with friends and family, but also with brands. Social media is increasingly influencing consumers’ buying behavior:
When consumers follow a brand on social media, 67% of consumers are more likely to spend more with that brand.
Social media can drive retail foot traffic: 78% say they will visit that brand’s physical retail store.
These results become even more pronounced when you narrow in on millennials: 84% said they were more likely to buy from a brand they follow on social media.
But, don’t count out older folks – young people may have been early adopters of social media, but older adults using social media has increased as well.
It’s easy to be overwhelmed by social media. That’s why we
recommend narrowing your focus and pick two social networks to be active on
daily. Most social networks are monetizing their platforms so organic social
media, i.e. free, is becoming less effective, which is why you must be active consistently.
But which platforms should you choose? It depends. We recommend meeting your customers where they are. With almost a third of the world’s population using Facebook, the 500-lb. gorilla in the room might be a given. If you have an aspirational brand whose customers skew female and under the age of 49, Pinterest or Instagram may be a good fit. If you are more of a B2B company, look at joining YouTube, LinkedIn or Twitter.
Also, make sure you are connecting with the people you meet,
whether you are introduced virtually or in person. Utilize both your personal
timeline and create a company account if you don’t already have one.
Number 6.5: Social Media Content
As for content, have you ever been to a party and you were cornered by that one guy who talks about himself all night? Don’t be that guy.
Instead follow the rule of thirds: 1/3 of your content should be devoted to sharing content, 1/3 to engaging with others and 1/3 promoting yourself. Share open positions at your company, business successes and company news, just don’t let all your content be about you.
Number 7: Email Marketing
Email marketing doesn’t have to be crazy complicated or
expensive. Email marketing is inexpensive and effective. If done correctly, you
will be surprised at the results you see after every send.
Use a simple automated platform like MailChimp and send an
email to your audiences once a month, or if you are just starting out, once
every other month. Make sure you are updating your databases and are not
sending the same content to both your clients and candidates.
Target your content to the reader and use your email
marketing to establish yourself as a thought leader. Share information and
expertise. This is especially true for B2B businesses; email marketing is most
effective if you are sharing news people can use. At Front Porch, this is the
direction we choose to take with our email newsletter. We offer marketing advice
and highlight our clients.
Similarly to social media, do not use email marketing to talk 100% about your company or you. It will not work.
Number 8: Networking
We are very fortunate to have several places to network in
North Texas – industry associations, chambers of commerce, community
organizations and the list goes on.
In deciding which group is right for you, consider these things:
Can I learn and grow?
Are this group’s values aligned with mine?
Can I contribute my knowledge and skills?
Do we have common interests?
When you are at these meetings or events, remember:
Give to get. Focus on what you can do for others, not what they can do for you.
Make sure you have business cards. (I know that sounds obvious, but you’d be surprised.)
Ask questions and listen.
Follow up. Sometimes this is the hardest thing to do because we are all wearing so many hats, but it is important to connect on LinkedIn with people you met, send them an email and if the situation calls for it, send a handwritten thank you note.
As business owners, we need to network. We need to work “on”
our business as much as possible, not in our business.
Networking is a process. Remember that most business owners are looking for connections. Make time to network intentionally. Be bold and step forward into their world.
I urge you to not “go big or go home,” but as we tell our
small to mid-sized clients, “Fewer. Deeper.” Do a couple of things well and
knock it out of the park.
If you do your marketing well, then your target audience will come to trust your brand. Trusted relationships develop into emotional bonds that are hard to break. Consequently, loyalty to your brand means greater business success and reduced competitive threat.
Remember The Great
8. Engage your clients and candidates and turn them into customers and brand
ambassadors.
As I was thinking about whether to hit send on my email to Julie, I paused. I had read an article that was interesting to me and I thought Julie would find it interesting too. I momentarily reflected on the longevity of our working relationship together. But, was this article too much? Too personal?
The article was about a topic I care about deeply – but its
also a very decisive topic, one I didn’t want to get into an argument with
complete strangers about, let alone my boss.
I don’t know why I sent it. All I know is that I did.
My last thought before I hit send was, “Well, they say you should bring your whole self to work, right?”
Free Froot Loops For All!
Just like ping-pong tables, free breakfast cereal and standing desks before it, the notion of “bringing your whole self to work” is the latest business organizational fad that promises to revolutionize the world of work. It remains to be seen if this is truly the case, or so much business world mumbo jumbo that bursts like a yoga ball under the weight of sky-high expectations.
None of this was on my mind when I entered the workforce. I had the mindset that I didn’t go to work to make friends, these people were my co-workers, colleagues. Nothing more, nothing less. You go into the office, do your job, do good work, go home. Repeat.
I thought I was being “professional.” Looking back, I think
I came off as aloof and maybe a little uptight.
Imagine my surprise when Julie would ask me on Monday mornings how my weekend went or if I did anything fun or interesting. “You mean you have an interest in my life outside of work?,” I thought. Huh.
But I digress. This blog post is supposed to be about bringing your whole self to work. But what does that even mean and why would anyone want to do that in the first place?
Bringing Your Whole Self to Work: What It Is
Let’s start by defining what bringing your whole self to work is, and then we can get into what it is not.
When you Google around, and look at the literature about bringing your whole self to work, there are a few common themes that come up. I am cherry-picking the 3 that matter most to me. They are Authenticity, Vulnerability, and Appreciation.
Authenticity – Mike Robbins, a popular thought leader on the topic, defines authenticity as honesty, minus self-righteousness plus vulnerability. People who are authentic with others are honest about the situation at hand, even if being honest means looking bad or it opens them up to criticism. Being authentic means being vulnerable.
Vulnerability – Its very difficult to put yourself in a vulnerable place. You don’t know what’s going to happen next. That’s why most people put on their “armor” when they walk through the office door. Best not to admit your fears or faults, lest someone use them against you. But overtime, that armor becomes incredibly heavy. It rusts and calcifies, and after a while, you do too.
Maybe its time to put the armor down, if only for a little while.
Appreciation – I don’t mean gold stars and carrots. Thank someone for the work they put in, not just the stellar end result.
Tell someone you admire the growth you’ve seen in them. Appreciate your co-workers kindness, thoughtfulness, people skills, etc. When you appreciate the little, human things about people, it makes their faults easier to understand, easier to accommodate, easier to work with. It also makes you easier to work with too.
Bringing Your Whole Self to Work: What It Is Not
Bringing your whole self to work is not:
“Letting it all hang out.”
Telling your co-workers about the most intimate parts of your love life.
Berating people over past grievances.
Clipping your nails at your desk, microwaving fish in the company kitchen, or making tacky, vulgar jokes for shock value.
Authenticity, and its close buddy vulnerability, is supposed to be productive when introduced in the office setting. It shouldn’t stop your co-workers in their tracks. It shouldn’t be cringey.
Authenticity should help your company grow and adapt.
Values: Your’s and Your Employer’s
Of course, bringing your whole self to work is a lot easier when your values match your employers and vice-versa. I never really thought I would be the type of person who cared about their work being fulfilling or not. I thought I would just go in, do my work, and that was it.
But a funny thing happens when you do work at a company or a
series of companies where your values match your employers. You get the feeling
that your co-workers actually care about you. Or that the work you do makes a
difference to someone – not just money and profit, but a difference. You don’t
want to let that go.
It turns out, human beings want to work with other human beings. And buy from other human beings. Who’d have thought.
I know this is harder to implement at some workplaces than others. That’s the problem with big, broad solutions – open offices! flexible seating! Mandatory yoga! – that are applied with a thick brush. They fail to take into account the particular contours of a business and its people.
Some businesses need their people to wear the armor,
sometimes literally. Others, not so much. It is really up to each business
leader to set the tone of how much vulnerability is allowed in their
workplaces, how much of their whole selves their employees can take to work
with them. That’s not something that can be decreed with the latest
organizational business trend headline.
Vulnerability Unacknowledged
Front Porch Marketing is in a creative business. Our clients come to us for creative solutions, to find opportunities they don’t see, weaknesses they don’t detect. We can’t do these things without having some empathy for our clients and their customers.
Creativity comes from empathy, an ability to step outside of yourself and into someone else’s shoes. And with empathy, vulnerability often decides to pay a visit too. We must be honest with ourselves and with each other to help our clients. Or else our vulnerabilities can turn into blind spots, dangers just outside our peripheral vision that we know are there but we choose not to see or acknowledge.
But, What Does It Mean?
Anyway, back to that article. Julie and I had an interesting talk about it. We didn’t always see eye to eye, but that’s not why I sent it to her, to convince her one way or another. I guess I wanted to share something that is important to me.
Maybe that’s what bringing your whole self to work means. It
means that you have the opportunity, if you choose to, to share with your
co-workers the things that matter to you, without judgement or fear.
Well, that sounds a lot better than an open office.
We’ve all been there. It’s the eleventh hour before a project is due and you are frantically trying to get work done, kicking yourself all the while for waiting so long. Why oh why did you procrastinate for so long?
Later. Always later.
Why People Procrastinate
People procrastinate for several different reasons, but they pretty much come down to how a task makes them feel – overwhelmed, insecure, anxious, resentful, etc. Procrastination isn’t a character flaw, rather, it’s an “…emotion regulation problem, not a time management problem.”
Human beings are hard-wired to think about the here and now. We tend to prioritize the present over the future. The lizard part of our brain was designed to address clear and present needs – like avoiding getting eaten by a lion or figuring out where our next meal will come from – rather than addressing our long-term needs. And to make matters worse, we’re less able to make productive, future-oriented decisions when under stress.
So, how do we short-circuit our lizard brain to get our work done?
Do one small thing This is my personal favorite. Sometimes a project can seem so overwhelming in scope or importance that you become almost paralyzed at the thought of working on it. Try doing one small thing – a little research, a short outline, breaking down the project into a list of tasks, etc. Sometimes all we need to get started is to just start – no matter how small the step may be.
Create mini deadlines Try setting a mini deadline for yourself. This can be anything from having a draft done by a certain date to just working on your project for 15-30 minutes. Sometimes it helps to know you won’t be working on a project forever if you can see a light at the end of a (short) tunnel.
Don’t be so hard on yourself Give yourself a little kindness when you procrastinate. Case in point:
“In a 2010 study, researchers found that students who were able to forgive themselves for procrastinating when studying for a first exam ended up procrastinating less when studying for their next exam. They concluded that self-forgiveness supported productivity by allowing “the individual to move past their maladaptive behavior and focus on the upcoming examination without the burden of past acts.”
The Upside of Procrastination
I know I’ve been going on and on about how to not procrastinate, but I would also like to say that procrastination isn’t entirely a bad thing. Sometimes we need to let our mind wander around.
(Caveat – this works for tasks that are more problem-solving or creativity oriented. Procrastination doesn’t get your house cleaned.)
Letting your mind wander allows the brain to work on a task in the “background” while you go about your day. Have you ever had a great idea while washing dishes or taking a walk? That’s your brain working on a task in the background.
This blog post is an example of a silver lining to procrastination. I was procrastinating on another project when I decided to Google procrastination. I found a trove of articles and saved them for later use. And that is how this blog post came to be.
So, give yourself a little break and let your mind meander around. Your next five minutes of procrastination could start the seed of your next great idea.
A two-part series where we will explore 8 great ways you can market your company.
Marketing in many people’s minds conjures up glamorous images of flashy and expensive campaigns. The reality of effective marketing couldn’t be further from the truth.
Welcome to The Great 8 of Marketing Success! This is a two-part series where we will explore 8 great ways you can market your company.
And the best part? They are all extremely effective and low-cost.
Great marketing doesn’t have to be expensive.
Number One: Differentiation
What differentiates your offering from that of your competitors? If you don’t have a strong point of differentiation, the only option is to compete on price. That isn’t where you want to be.
Your point of differentiation is not customer service. We are all in the service business. It is a given.
Define what sets your company apart from the competition. Ask yourself:
What is a superior performing aspect or expertise of your brand that has multiple customer benefits?
What do your clients really appreciate about your service?
Why are long term clients still with you?
What was one of the nicest things a client ever said about how you conduct business?
Number 2: Brand Personality
Your brand must be both differentiating and emotionally relevant. Human beings buy based on their emotions and justify their decisions with logic later. How do you connect with your customers on a more human level? By infusing your brand with its own personality.
The purpose of brand personality is to capture the human characteristics that build and enhance a relationship between brands and consumers.
These characteristics, when executed consistently, make a brand likeable. This is particularly valuable for marketing because it determines whether the look and feel of the execution is right. If a communication does not pass our “personality test,” then the consumer should never see it.
Companies who invest in their brand enjoy the following benefits, to name a few:
Higher price points and less pricing pressure
Greater market value
Reduced competition
Increased business opportunities (partnerships, licensing deals, acquisitions)
Define your brand personality. What four to five adjectives define your brand?
Number 3: Marketing Plan
Marketing plans serve as a roadmap, with measurable goals and defined tactics outlining how you will reach those goals. A marketing plan also:
Determines your marketing budget for the year
Ensures that your company will be proactive and not reactive
Keeps you focused on your target clients and customers. You can’t be relevant to everyone.
Organizes your time and priorities
Components of a marketing plan include:
Market research
Target market
Positioning
Competitive analysis
Metrics / Goals
Strategies
Tactics
Budget
You need a roadmap, a marketing plan, to maximize your resources. Remember, hope is not a strategy. Having a sound marketing roadmap is.
Number 4: Business Card
Yes, even in today’s tech-savvy world, business cards are still relevant. We have all been in a place where the Wi-Fi connection was weak, or our cell service was spotty. It’s oftentimes easier and faster to hand someone your card.
Business cards create a quick first impression of your company. If they are different and/or cleverly designed, they can also set you apart from your competition.
Great marketing includes many things.
Stay tuned for the Great 8, Part II. We’ll explore four more effective, low-cost ways you can market your company.
You know that part in the movie “Talladega Nights” where Will Ferrell’s character Ricky Bobby is being interviewed and he doesn’t know what to do with his hands? That is what socializing and networking for me is like, its like I don’t quite know what to do with my hands.
I would rather be at home, binge-watching a show and hanging out with my husband. I like my time alone, in my head, in my little world.
You could say I’m an introvert.
Coffee helps introverts network better.
It’s taken me a long time to realize that my introversion is not some professional character flaw. It has not set me back professionally. My reserved nature means that I have to be mindful about how I manage my attention and energy levels when it comes to networking and socializing. It means knowing that I do better in certain social situations versus others.
For the most part, I do not like, what I like to call, “chamber mixers” or “rubber chicken lunches.” I’m sure you have been to a similar event before – networking events where you are thrown into a room with hundreds of people, eating mediocre appetizers, holding an overpriced beer and trying to talk to random strangers. These events can be very, very painful. The haphazard nature of who attends these events makes it seem like a real-life version of Tinder. But instead of bad dates, you just get bad conversations.
So, what’s the antidote for networking mixers like these?
Structure and Format: An Introvert’s Best Friends
There are other types of networking events besides large
assemblies of random people. In my experience, I feel much more comfortable
attending events that have structure and format built into them (rather than a
networking free-for-all).
Conferences are one of my favorite networking events
because a) they attract a large group of like-minded people and b) you get to
learn something to boot. You can talk to your fellow conference attendees but
don’t forget to talk to the speakers before or after their presentation. If you
do not get the chance to say hi in person, send them an email with a few
thoughtful questions thrown in.
An event series I’ve recently discovered is 1 Million Cups (1MC). 1MC is an event for local entrepreneurs to meet and present their startups to their local business community. The program was developed by the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation and is based on the idea that “entrepreneurs discover solutions and engage with their communities over a million cups of coffee.”
The format of these events goes something like this:
Once a week, two small, local businesses make a short presentation about their business. Then the audience gets to ask them questions and critiques of their business. Lastly, the 1MC moderator will ask the speaker “What can we do help you?”
I like the 1MC events because it gives me something to talk
about (introverts are great at asking lots of questions), it’s a dynamic group
of folks, and the whole event is done over coffee.
Socialize with a Purpose
Another great opportunity to network is by volunteering, or what I like to call, socializing with a purpose. Now, I am not advocating that you volunteer for an organization that you do not have the heart for. I believe that when a person gives, whether that is money or their time, they should give with their whole heart, not expect anything in return, and give to causes they believe in. At the same time, that doesn’t mean you can’t make friends and possible business connections along the way.
When you volunteer, you are automatically joining a group
of like-minded people. This is key – it gives you something to talk about with
your fellow volunteers. And who knows, you might have other things in common.
(You most likely will).
Find an organization or two that you can devote your time
and talents to – organizations that give you the greatest chance of doing good
while also crossing paths with people you might be able to work in the future.
Network & Learn
Learning in a group is a great way to meet people. This can
take the form of a course at a local university or a more focused seminar
series.
Taking a class, much like volunteering, puts you in a
room with like-minded people. And since it’s not a one-time thing, like a
conference or workshop, you can take the time to get to know people and really
bond with your classmates and instructors.
Take a Chance and Expand Your Network
When I was a senior in college, I went to a conference just for new marketing professionals. I went to a panel and there was one speaker who was so funny and engaging, that I made it my mission at that moment to introduce myself, say hi and get his card. Then I ran home to email him (don’t giggle, it was 2004) and thanked him for his time and insights, and I asked him if he would be open to giving me fifteen minutes of his time for an informational interview.
I did several informational interviews with other marketing
professionals over the course of that year and I have to say, most of them were
just okay. But this one interview, with the panelist from the conference,
turned into an internship at United Way of King County, a real milestone in my
early marketing career. When I go to a networking event, I try to keep that
memory in mind – that sometimes all it takes is a hello and a little following
up to spark something big.
Remember, you are not trying to become friends with everyone. That would be exhausting. You are merely trying to widen your social circle a little – just enough for a little bit of luck and opportunity to get through.
Sometimes, staging an intervention is the only way to get someone to confront their unhealthy behavior and make necessary change. So I’ve decided it’s time to stage an intervention … with myself. I am spending a ridiculous amount of time each day on my smart phone.
Today I caught a notification out of the corner of my eye that horrified me – tonight, at 7:30, I had already spent 8 hours and 52 minutes on my phone. 8 hours and 52 minutes. On. My. Phone.
My initial reaction was to reason it away with common excuses:
But I use it for work. Legitimate point … but 8 hours and 52 minutes of work on my phone? No.
I have 3 kids that I need to stay connected to. Again, legitimate. But 8 hours and 52 minutes worth? No.
It’s time to face facts. I am wasting extremely precious time doing extremely mindless things. 8 hours and 52 minutes worth.
I know what you’re thinking. “I don’t spend that much time on my phone.” Um, think again. You’re online more than you think you are. According to CNN, Americans spend at least eight hours a day staring at a screen. And more than one-third of smartphone users get online before they get out of bed.
We’re in the same boat. So read on.
Why It’s Bad
Why is it bad? The reasons are many. Too much screen time damages your eyes, damages your sleep, is bad for your neck, makes driving more dangerous, makes walking more dangerous (yes, we are all guilty of walking and texting). It causes more stress, it increases anxiousness, it decreases focus…I mean, need I go on?
Any one of those reasons is enough to make a change. But the more damaging, very real problem that smartphone addictions create is that we are hurting our relationships. We aren’t really connecting with the people in our life. Ironic, yes?
Our glut of connectivity is making us less connected. We aren’t connecting because we aren’t talking. It’s hurting our interpersonal skills. As one very astute high school student said, “We’re the most connected generation in history, “but we suck at intimacy.”
And don’t get me started on what it does to kids. Children’s excessive technology use has the potential to cause attention, brain and behavioral problems that last.
It’s time to cut it back. Way back.
How Do We Cut Back?
I’m doing it so I did some reading. Here are some of the things that I found that can help:
Turn off your notifications. Nobody needs to look at the phone everytime someone likes our instagram post.
Instead of constantly checking your texts or emails, put your phone down and set an alarm (5 minutes, an hour, whatever works). When the alarm goes off, check and respond to them all at once. And repeat.
Instead of having a full blown text conversation, pick up the phone and actually talk.
Turn it off during meals. Turn it off during family time. And definitely turn it off while you’re sleeping.
Hold yourself accountable. Set a goal and at the end of every day, take a look at the numbers. They don’t lie.
Listen, I love my smartphone as much as anyone. But I can tell you first hand, putting it down feels good. Not just to you, but to those around you. Your people deserve your full attention.
Sometimes I think the myth of work/life balance was designed to drive people crazy. People are encouraged, prodded even, to give all aspects of their life equal value and equal effort all the time. Be awesome at work! Have the neatest, tidiest house on the block! Be the perfect spouse!
It’s exhausting. And to a life-long worrier, it’s like cat-nip. If cat-nip was addicting but not at all enjoyable.
It should be called a work/life balancing act – something that is dipping from one side to another, always in flux. The word “balance” alone implies that you should shoot for a neat state of equilibrium all the time. And that is ridiculous.
It is human nature to think that the grass is greener on the other side.
I always look at other people with envy and awe at how much better at adulting everyone else around me seems to be.
Only snippets of people’s lives are visible to us. We don’t see our co-workers frantically trying to hustle their kids out the door in the morning because they’re late for school, or their hour-long commute to work, or the guilt they feel for ordering pizza for dinner because they are too exhausted to even think about making dinner.
Often, we only see people at their best, not at their frantic worst. Everyone, everyone, has rough spots in the lives. No one sails through life on a perfectly calm sea.
Acknowledge that life is like that sometimes
My mom often said “Life is like that sometimes” when I was kid and it drove me crazy. I remember always thinking, “Well, maybe life shouldn’t be like that mom!” Well, my mom was right. Life is messy and the sooner we can accept this, the better.
I don’t think its any coincidence that the first three letters in acknowledge are A-C-K.
Figure out an everyday ritual or routine you can carve out each day
I find that when I take the time in the morning to have some quiet time to myself, have my cup of coffee, journal a little, and read, I feel a lot better. It’s a nice way to start off my day and when the rest of my day goes sideways, as it inevitably does, I can take some solace in having done something for myself.
This ritual can look different for everyone, and it doesn’t have to be the first thing in the morning. Maybe at the end of the night, you can have a mini-spa moment and slather on all the skin-care potions you want. Or start your day with prayer and a moment of gratitude. Whatever your ritual looks like, it can serve as a calming mental anchor when everything else in your day is beyond your control.
Exercise a different part of your brain
I am fortunate that my work involves a variety of tasks and projects. One day I might be designing some graphics for social media, another day I might be writing a marketing plan. I find that being able to switch between two disparate tasks helps with my well-being immensely. If I feel like one task is turning into a brain drain, I can do something else completely different.
What if your job doesn’t involve a lot of variety? Take up a hobby. And I don’t mean watching endless amounts of YouTube (guilty). I think when people hear “hobby” they think of buying a ton of art supplies and painting the next Mona Lisa.
The key to having an enjoyable hobby is to make it sustainable – a hobby that doesn’t take up a lot of time, mental effort or physical space. I used to paint and draw, but honestly, it feels like such a task to break out my paints and brushes sometimes. So, I read or rip into my bajillion magazines and make a mini-collage. Very satisfying and with minimal fuss.
You gotta let that stuff go
Julie says this to me all the time, in a variety of situations. And you know what, it’s true.
Do I think I am going to create the next great invention out of the detritus of my life? No. Do I think the best things often come out of the messiness and happen-stance of life? Yes.
For example…
I was a military child growing up and that meant moving a lot. From Kindergarten to High School, I changed schools nine times and moved six times. As a teenager, I remember thinking to myself “when I grow up, I do not want to marry a military man because I don’t want to move around a lot.” Then Fate said, “Hold my beer” and I married a railroader instead.
We have moved four times in eleven years and have never lived in one place more than four years. Moving around so much can be hard (getting a house ready to sell is exhausting). But I have made some great friends along the way and built my skillset in a way that has helped my career immensely.
And all that moving around as a kid was good for me too. It’s how I met my husband.
In college, I was worried about what in the world I was going to do with a History degree. One day, I literally stumbled upon a poster in the College of Arts & Sciences building that listed all the career fields you can go into with a liberal arts degree. And one of those fields was Public Relations. That set me on the career path in marketing that I am still on today.
In the moment, it’s difficult to see how all of this will play out in the end
It’s only in looking back that we can see that the hardest times can create fortitude, a skill or a friendship that helps us in the present. My first real job out of college, working for a PR agency, was like a PR bootcamp. It was hard. It was stressful. But I learned so much and there are skills I picked up during that time in my life that I still use today.
Plus, it’s how I met Julie. And thirteen years later, when she was looking for someone to join her agency, and I had just moved back to Texas, it all came together.
No one knows how life is going to turn out. Sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down. So, instead of trying to chase down something that doesn’t exist and seemingly only serves to drive people crazy – like work/life balance – embrace the mess and accept the uncertainty. Your house will be a wreck, you will miss your kid’s soccer game, you will blow it at work.
It’s in the small, everyday efforts and messy moments of life that you are building up to something greater. You just don’t know it yet.
Tomorrow marks the 4th of July, the day that our country dons the red, white and blue and celebrates its independence from Great Britain.
Every year, we gather with our friends and family to celebrate the anniversary of our freedom and enjoy our togetherness and our traditions. Regardless of whether you celebrate the 4th with a small group of family, a large group fireworks event, or a beautiful beach-town parade, it’s an exciting and spirited time in the United States. The sights, sounds and smells are familiar and comforting.
Here are a few of my favorites of July 4th:
Parades! Kids on bikes, dogs in wagons, marching bands, dancing girls, music, floats, crazy patriotic outfits … I love it all!
Popsicles. On a hot day, there’s nothing better.
Barbeques – the smell of grilled hamburgers and hot dogs is everything.
4th of July themed desserts – who doesn’t love some creatively spun sugar?
Lee Greenwood’s Version of “God Bless the USA.” It makes my cry. Every. Single. Time.
Watermelon cut in slices. Quintessential summer. And so delicious.
Sparklers to kick off the firework lineup. So many childhood memories center upon waiving sparklers through the air.
Fireworks. Duh. The more, the better.
Togetherness. Family togetherness. Friend togetherness. Community togetherness. The 4th of July brings us all together, doesn’t it?
The reminder of how lucky we are to live in America. Like seriously, seriously lucky.
From everyone here on the Porch to you, may your 4th of July be filled with joy and celebration. Happy Independence Day, everyone!
Like most people in the Dallas area, I have spent the past few days reeling from the destructive, unexpected storm that hit us over the weekend. The loud, powerful downburst morphed a sunny, beautiful sky into a threatening, frightening tempest that wreaked havoc on our landscapes and our lives.
It seems a particularly pertinent analogy for life’s tenuous nature. Occasionally, we are hit by an unexpected storm that knocks us down, be it personal, professional, or physical. Whatever the cause, the resulting derailment can cause us to feel simultaneously overwhelmed and paralyzed.
So what can we do to stay afloat?
Gut Check: What’s Important
When you’re moving through life unencumbered, it’s easy to try to be all things to all people and spread yourself too thin. When things get real, you no longer have the luxury or the responsibility. Check in with yourself and identify what your priorities are. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again … let everything else fall away.
Live Where You Are
Are you sad? Be sad. Angry? Relieved? Frustrated? Whatever it is you are feeling, let yourself feel it. When we try to fight against our feelings, it often leads to a longer, more drawn out suffering/healing cycle. You have to live where you are. You just do.
Just Start
Get going. You have things to do and a life to be lived. If it feels like you’re spinning, take 15 minutes and Brain Dump. Write down everything that comes to mind. No structure. No numbered lists or categories. Just write everything that comes to mind in a free flow fashion – you can make sense of it later.
Life can be a beast so be kind to yourself and to others. It’s an instant mood-changer. Smile. Breathe. Look for the positive and the good. Gratitude improves every situation – there is always something to be thankful for.
Strength is the Silver Lining
Whatever has challenged you, knocked you down, or thrown you under will be the seed for tremendous growth. It may be hard to see, but one of life’s greatest gifts is the fact that life is difficult, because in dealing with life’s unexpected storm, we build invaluable strength.
