This is the time of year when I start thinking about goals and what I want to accomplish next year. As I look through my goals, I realized a few things I want to remember in 2022:
Maybe You’re Already Reaching Your Goals
When I look at the life “buckets” I want to work on next year, I realized that a few of them, namely learning and socializing more, can be knocked out with my participation in Junior League. Junior League offers members classes (we call them trainings) in all sorts of topics, everything from healthy eating to stress management to book clubs to special movie screenings. Each member also must volunteer as part of their commitment to Junior League, where I see old friends and meet new people. It turns out, I have been accomplishing this goal all this time. Maybe you’ve been accomplishing your goals too without realizing it, you’ve just been accomplishing them within the context of what you’re already doing day-to-day.
Productivity Can’t Be Your Only Goal
Productivity is a great economic measure. It’s not so great for measuring humanity.
I had an epiphany one day, while bemoaning my lack of productivity. I remember being so much more productive early on in my career. And then I thought, “Wait a minute. I am doing work that is completely different from the work I used to do.” My work now is more strategic and graphic design takes time. And that’s a good thing – it means I am advancing in my development rather than just churning out tactical stuff.
Seasons Change. So Should Your Goals.
Before you start trying to squeeze just one more task into your day, ask yourself, “Have my circumstances changed? Has my career changed?” I bet you the answer is yes and yes.
The past two years have been a doozy, for a lot of people. I’ve had friends who have lost jobs and started new ones, go through heart-breaking loss, or take on more care-taking duties at home. Considering all of these, its understandable that people would want to cut back in one aspect of their lives to pour more into another part.
Which brings me to…
Be Kind to Yourself
Something Julie reminds us of, especially when things are tough, is that we should give the other person grace. We should give ourselves grace. Be a little kinder. Be the light.
Perhaps instead of New Year’s resolutions or goals, I should keep these three realizations in mind and make them my themes for the year:
Sometimes you can reach your goals without inventing a whole new set of actions to reach them. What goals can you stack together? How can you accomplish your goals within the context of your everyday? For example, if your goal is to exercise more in the new year and spend time more time with your kids, maybe a family stroll after dinner or a weekend bike ride might get you closer to your goal.
Don’t do #allthethings. Do #therightthings. Change up your to-dos in accordance with the seasons of your life. Sometimes your home life will ask more of you than your work life and vice versa. Sometimes your volunteer obligations will take over your life for two weeks straight. Give yourself leeway to accommodate all the aspects of your life when they need to be addressed, not year-round.
Be kind to yourself. In the grand scheme of things, we are on this planet for only a moment. Let’s make it a good one.
It’s graduation season! As thousands of young people across the country don their caps and gowns, I’d like to give some advice to all of the future marketers out there. Here are a few things to remember that have taken me years to learn. And to be honest, I am still learning.
It’s Okay to Ask for Help
There’s a pit in my stomach that forms whenever I need to ask for help. I have to remind myself that I don’t have to do it all myself. One of the wonderful things about working for an agency is that everyone has different skills. Different co-workers can pitch in on different parts of a project when needed. They can also give you advice on how to get things done.
Asking for help doesn’t mean your slacking or not taking your responsibilities seriously. It means you should thank your lucky stars that you have a team backing you. Marketing is a team sport and it works better when you work with others.
Writing Skills are Important – and Rare
At the start of my career, I took my writing skills for granted. I thought everyone can write. No big deal.
After a few more years in the workforce I learned that everyone can write but not everyone can write well. So much of marketing is writing. Or starts with writing – advertising copy, scripts, creative briefs, white papers, taglines, web copy, blog posts, social media and the list goes on. If you can hone your writing skills, you will stand out from the pack.
Stop Worrying So Much
Early in my career, I worried about so many things. I worried about finding my “niche.” It seemed like everyone in my office was good at something I wasn’t. (Which is by design, see “It’s Okay to Ask for Help” above.) I worried that I wouldn’t be able to get to where I wanted to go, which was a title with the word “director” in it.
Its understandable to worry a lot about your career, especially at the beginning of it. In my case, the only antidote that I could find to my constant worrying was time and experience. I stopped caring about having a niche when I figured out that I am interested in many things . My advice: figure out what you’re interested in and what is important to you. Develop your natural talents and stop trying to force yourself into some mold you think you need to fit into.
Your Goals Might Change
Which brings me to that “brass ring” syndrome I had for the longest time. At some point, I figured out that being the director of something was not going to make me happy. Making things, working with great people, moving fast and yes, sometimes breaking things, that makes me happy. A fancy title does not.
In sum, it’s important to think about what makes you happy and fulfilled. I know that’s easy for me to say, especially from my vantage point of having spent many years in this industry. And I know that the first few years in any career are going to feel like you’ve been thrown into the deep end.
Remember, it’s easier to float on a rising tide than to swim against it. You just have to find the right tide. So, go and catch your next wave, and see where it takes you.
There comes a time in every company’s life when their logo might need a little freshening up. Maybe it looks dated. Or it no longer reflects your company. Maybe your logo looked great on your original product, but it no longer works for what you manufacture now.
Take a page from logo makeovers past and ask yourself, “What does your logo communicate now?”
Your Logo No Longer Works with Your Products
Imagine pairing Apple’s first iteration of their iconic apple-shaped logo, the rainbow-striped apple, with the first-generation iMac. The iMac debuted in 1998 and was a colorful departure from the standard boxy, beige and gray computers of the time. If Apple stuck with their rainbow-striped logo, the result would have been a product that looked more like a child’s toy than a high-tech computer.
Does your logo “play well” with your existing products? If not, it might be time to thank it for its service and toss out the elements of your logo that no longer work for you.
Your Logo Looks Dated – Burger King Edition
All design reflects its time and if your logo reflects the last century, then perhaps it’s time to give your logo a second look.
Let’s take a look at the recent Burger King rebrand. Their logo was designed in 1999 and it looks like it. Their old logo reminds me of ‘90s sports team logos – modern, lots of dynamic movement and some sharp edges. You know, everything you want in your food. 🤷♀️
Their new logo is simpler, puts the burger front and center and it looks friendlier. Plus, it looks great on a small screen. Brands must think about where their logo is going to live and if that logo doesn’t look good blown up on a billboard or shrunk down to the size of an app icon, then it might be time for a change.
Your Logo Looks Dated and it No Longer Works with Your Products – Instagram Edition
Remember when app icons used to be skeuomorphic? That is, they were designed to look like the thing they represent. i.e. The recycling bin icon on your desktop that looks like an actual recycling bin. Software designers used skeuomorphism as a shorthand way to get people acclimated to using computers and other digital devices. Picture what the old iPhone icons and interface used to look like – if you wanted to look at your contacts, you tapped on the icon that looked like an address book. When you opened your notes, the screen looked like a yellow notepad.
But there are times when skeuomorphic design can go off the rails a little. What happens when users no longer use the things these icons are meant to represent? Exhibit A, the “Save” icon in Word – it looks like a disk that I used to tote around in high school. How are users supposed to know to click on that icon to save their document? Answer: users just learn over time that’s what you need to click on, but I wouldn’t call that very user-friendly or intuitive.
Skeuomorphic design can also look messy and cluttered. Users could see more of their contacts if the interface did not look like a literal address book
There is a reason why app icons became more and more “flat” and minimalist over time – its easier to see them on a mobile device. Which brings me to Instagram.
In 2016, Instagram changed their logo from an icon that looked reminiscent of an old Polaroid camera to what it is today, a minimalist representation of a camera with a colorful gradient background. And the internet, of course, had some thoughts:
“The new Instagram logo looks like a rejected starburst flavor.”
@trecoast
Okay, so the new logo was not universally loved. But, in the end, things turned out alright for Instagram. One, because its Instagram, a photo-taking juggernaut of an app that managed to tap into humanity’s need to take selfies and shill vitamin gummies. And, because their new logo:
Made them stand out from the rest of the apps on your phone.
Have you ever noticed that a lot of app icons are blue? Don’t believe me? Take a look at this:
So. Many. Blue. App Icons.
Gave them a unifying design language they could use across their app, creating a better user-experience.
Instead of making each function of the app a literal representation, i.e. a boomerang icon in the shape of a boomerang, they could now be designed to represent their use. Which is why the boomerang function in Instagram looks like an infinity symbol because it replays a short video over and over again. A good logo gives a company different ways to talk about itself visually.
A bad logo can limit a company’s design choices. For instance, if your company’s logo features a gradient, its going to be difficult to embroider that logo on a shirt. If you can’t reverse your logo i.e. it looks the same in black-on-white as it does in white-on-black, then that really limits your design options.
You might find that you can only put your logo on a light background. Which isn’t the end of the world. But if you want to put your logo on say, a photo of a manufacturing facility in motion, then that photo had better be light and bright or it will get lost in the darkness.
Plays well in all sorts of uses.
For example, if you want people to use your app, it would be best to create a simple logo that can be slapped onto a flier, a business card, a website etc, and still look good. Imagine if Instagram still used their old logo and how that little brown polaroid would look on a business card or the bottom of a flier. Which is easier to for the average person to identify, that camera or the “rejected starburst flavor?”
Most companies do not fail or succeed based on their logo. Quality design is an investment, one that you might not have the resources for right now. But a logo can communicate more to your customers than a thousand commercials ever will.
What does your logo communicate to your current and potential customers? Is that the message you want to send? Or is it time for a refresh?
At the beginning of the pandemic, I was not worried about my mental health or how I would cope with lockdown. As an introvert, I genuinely thought this will not be a big deal for me. I am a young-ish person in reasonably good health, so I was not worried about getting sick. This will be my Olympics, my time to shine.
I was wrong.
Mental health is not always smooth sailing. But, you can get yourself out of a rut.
It’s one thing to stay inside all day because you want to, it’s quite another because you have to. Add to that doomscrolling and my tendency toward rumination, I found myself falling into what I call, a Covid Hole. Everyday started to feel like it had the same flavor. It was like each day was a sad, sad Groundhog Day.
I can’t really explain why exactly, but I started crawling my way out of this dark pit in September. Maybe it was the realization that I needed to cut myself some slack. Maybe it was the timing – I love fall. Whatever the reason, here are a few things I’ve done that have helped my mental health.
Get Out There
Get out where? Anywhere. The “where” doesn’t matter, just change your environment and ideally, see people and hang out with friends if you can. At some point, I decided to put my mask on and just go outside.
Meeting friends for coffee and was such a breath of fresh air to talk and enjoy their company. I became used to seeing masked faces and returned to my pre-Covid retail habits. I spent hours at Barnes & Noble and Target, my happy places. Even professional networking made me feel better. The chance to socialize lifted my did wonders for my mental health.
Human beings are social creatures, even the introverted ones. I realized I need more social interaction than I thought. Just call me a “talkative” introvert.
Accept the Transience of Life
I heard a tip once that helps my mental health: when you find yourself in a stressful situation, add “for now” to the end of that sentence. Work is so busy and stressful, for now. Fighting with my computer is driving me crazy, for now.
Everything comes and goes, the good and the bad. Wishing for bad things to stop happening is like trying to stop the ocean with your bare hands. The ocean, life, is going to do what it wants to do. Accept that waves come and go.
Ask for Help
I’m not saying I am great at delegating, but asking for help, is … well, helpful. You are not alone in this, so ask for help – from your family and your co-workers.
Look Forward to Something
Whether that something is big or small, it’s a joy to have something to look forward to. For me, I’ve been looking forward to coffee with friends and on a much bigger front, the impending birth of my brother’s first child. Her name is Elise but I like to call her Baby Gregorio. Thinking about my impending role as “Fun Aunt” lightens my mood and helps my mental health.
I hope these ideas, while not groundbreaking, were helpful for you. As someone whose everyday life always has a small hum of nervousness around it, I know it’s hard sometimes to pull yourself out of rut. But it can be done. You can find the joy and you can ask for help. The main thing is believing that you can feel better.
Go build yourself a sturdy raft and find some excellent first mates. It may feel awkward. It might even make you feel nervous – trying new things can do that sometimes. But that feeling will go away and I can almost guarantee you that you will feel better.
But, maybe, especially right now, we all should hold each othera little closer, a little tighter.
How can I write about September 11 – an event that I did not witness in person and yet simultaneously affected everyone?
Here on the Porch, I am known as an excellent writer. But, for this assignment, the words were not flowing like they usually do. I stared at a blank page for a while.
Everything I thought of writing sounded like empty
platitudes. So, when words fail me, sometime lyrics come to mind. Maybe because
songwriters are geniuses and that is what songs are supposed to do – stick in
your mind forever and describe a moment in time perfectly.
New York Minute
New York Minute is a song by Don Henley and came from the album (aptly enough) The End of Innocence. To me, the song’s chorus describes the events of September 11, as well as its aftermath. One minute, I was getting ready for work at my on-campus job. The next minute my mom was talking to me on the phone, through tears, half a world away, telling me to be careful.
On the morning of September 11, my oldest friend in the world – Bella – was going to meet her friends for breakfast at the World Trade Center. The next minute she was running for her life. We have been friends for 20 years now. If she did meet her friends that day, Bella would have been a cool girl I used to know.
Later that fall, in one of my history classes, we had to
talk as a group about a landmark event that touched everyone’s lives. For a
previous generation, that discussion could have been about the Kennedy assassination
or the Moon landing. For us, it was September 11.
A classmate shared an especially poignant story. His dad
was a pilot. He was supposed to fly one of the planes that hit the Twin Towers
that day. He switched flights with a colleague so he could attend his youngest
son’s soccer game that morning.
Left or Right
What is my point in sharing all these anecdotes? I’m not sure to be honest. I keep thinking about all these seemingly small moments in our everyday that when we look back on them, turn about to be a big fulcrum in the story of our lives. Points in time where the axis of our lives turns in a dramatic way. Running late, running early. Take the day off or go to work. Left, right.
I guess, my point is, we don’t know where these dramatic
turns will be. We think its going to be the next big promotion or a move to a
new city. And usually, its nothing like that. It is the small things that can
alter the trajectory of our lives.
Turning Points
A chance encounter with a co-worker in the break room who
could turn out to be the love of your life (my brother and his wife).
My dad getting juuuuuust a high enough score to pass the
Armed Service Vocational Aptitude Battery test and join the U.S. Navy. His was
one of only 150 spots reserved for Filipino citizens each year.
One night during my sophomore year, I took a call from a boy
I “sorta kinda” knew in high school. A mutual friend said we should talk to
each other. So we did. That one call turned into calls nearly everyday. He
turned into my boyfriend. And then my husband. That was almost 20 years ago.
Of course, not every chance encounter or small movement
is going to turn into something big. You simply don’t know. But, maybe,
especially right now, we all should hold each other a little closer, a little
tighter. Because everything can change.
Now that Julie has laid down some groundwork for a great marketing foundation, let’s look ahead. What is on the marketing horizon for 2020? Here are a few possibilities:
If only there was a crystal ball for marketing…
Social Media
Yes, organic reach isn’t what it used to be, and some businesses are even pulling out of Facebook altogether. But social media continues to be a driving trend and marketing tool going into 2020.
Social media engagement looks different than it used to even five years ago. Consumers are increasingly using social media to research products and services. And platforms are delivering ad options to take advantage of this trend. Are you?
on-SERP SEO
Did you know there was such a thing as a zero-click result? A zero-click result is a search result in which Google automatically provides the answer to the search query in the form of an automated snippet. See my “What’s the temperature in Dallas?” screenshot below.
Screenshot example of a zero-click result on Google.
Why is this important to marketers?
Because 61.8 percent of search results in Google are now zero-search results, according to data from Jumpshot. As a result, more and more keywords are becoming less profitable.
The automatic snippet oftentimes come from a website that ranks somewhere on page 1 of the search engine results page (SERP). But companies do not know for sure how to optimize their content so that Google chooses them over anyone else.
Marketing Silver Bullets
There is no one marketing tool to rule them all.
The marketing version of this does not exist.
According to marketing guru Neil Patel, we are all fighting for the margins now.
A lot of businesses were built off of one marketing channel… But you no longer can build a business through just one marketing channel. Good channels now get saturated extremely fast. Even if they work and cause explosive growth, it will only last for a short while before your competitors jump on board and make it harder. Marketing is now heading in the direction of being about “marginal gains”.
I know this sounds a little daunting. But I think this is a good thing. At no other time in history have small businesses had so many tools and channels to choose from to market businesses and grow their sales. Back in the dark ages of media and marketing, you had three channels to choose from and the cost of production to create and place a 30-second spot was out of the realm of possibility for most small businesses.
Now, we have a plethora of choices. Take some comfort in that. You have so many tools to choose from going into 2020. What will you choose?
As I was thinking about whether to hit send on my email to Julie, I paused. I had read an article that was interesting to me and I thought Julie would find it interesting too. I momentarily reflected on the longevity of our working relationship together. But, was this article too much? Too personal?
The article was about a topic I care about deeply – but its
also a very decisive topic, one I didn’t want to get into an argument with
complete strangers about, let alone my boss.
I don’t know why I sent it. All I know is that I did.
My last thought before I hit send was, “Well, they say you should bring your whole self to work, right?”
Free Froot Loops For All!
Just like ping-pong tables, free breakfast cereal and standing desks before it, the notion of “bringing your whole self to work” is the latest business organizational fad that promises to revolutionize the world of work. It remains to be seen if this is truly the case, or so much business world mumbo jumbo that bursts like a yoga ball under the weight of sky-high expectations.
None of this was on my mind when I entered the workforce. I had the mindset that I didn’t go to work to make friends, these people were my co-workers, colleagues. Nothing more, nothing less. You go into the office, do your job, do good work, go home. Repeat.
I thought I was being “professional.” Looking back, I think
I came off as aloof and maybe a little uptight.
Imagine my surprise when Julie would ask me on Monday mornings how my weekend went or if I did anything fun or interesting. “You mean you have an interest in my life outside of work?,” I thought. Huh.
But I digress. This blog post is supposed to be about bringing your whole self to work. But what does that even mean and why would anyone want to do that in the first place?
Bringing Your Whole Self to Work: What It Is
Let’s start by defining what bringing your whole self to work is, and then we can get into what it is not.
When you Google around, and look at the literature about bringing your whole self to work, there are a few common themes that come up. I am cherry-picking the 3 that matter most to me. They are Authenticity, Vulnerability, and Appreciation.
Authenticity – Mike Robbins, a popular thought leader on the topic, defines authenticity as honesty, minus self-righteousness plus vulnerability. People who are authentic with others are honest about the situation at hand, even if being honest means looking bad or it opens them up to criticism. Being authentic means being vulnerable.
Vulnerability – Its very difficult to put yourself in a vulnerable place. You don’t know what’s going to happen next. That’s why most people put on their “armor” when they walk through the office door. Best not to admit your fears or faults, lest someone use them against you. But overtime, that armor becomes incredibly heavy. It rusts and calcifies, and after a while, you do too.
Maybe its time to put the armor down, if only for a little while.
Appreciation – I don’t mean gold stars and carrots. Thank someone for the work they put in, not just the stellar end result.
Tell someone you admire the growth you’ve seen in them. Appreciate your co-workers kindness, thoughtfulness, people skills, etc. When you appreciate the little, human things about people, it makes their faults easier to understand, easier to accommodate, easier to work with. It also makes you easier to work with too.
Bringing Your Whole Self to Work: What It Is Not
Bringing your whole self to work is not:
“Letting it all hang out.”
Telling your co-workers about the most intimate parts of your love life.
Berating people over past grievances.
Clipping your nails at your desk, microwaving fish in the company kitchen, or making tacky, vulgar jokes for shock value.
Authenticity, and its close buddy vulnerability, is supposed to be productive when introduced in the office setting. It shouldn’t stop your co-workers in their tracks. It shouldn’t be cringey.
Authenticity should help your company grow and adapt.
Values: Your’s and Your Employer’s
Of course, bringing your whole self to work is a lot easier when your values match your employers and vice-versa. I never really thought I would be the type of person who cared about their work being fulfilling or not. I thought I would just go in, do my work, and that was it.
But a funny thing happens when you do work at a company or a
series of companies where your values match your employers. You get the feeling
that your co-workers actually care about you. Or that the work you do makes a
difference to someone – not just money and profit, but a difference. You don’t
want to let that go.
It turns out, human beings want to work with other human beings. And buy from other human beings. Who’d have thought.
I know this is harder to implement at some workplaces than others. That’s the problem with big, broad solutions – open offices! flexible seating! Mandatory yoga! – that are applied with a thick brush. They fail to take into account the particular contours of a business and its people.
Some businesses need their people to wear the armor,
sometimes literally. Others, not so much. It is really up to each business
leader to set the tone of how much vulnerability is allowed in their
workplaces, how much of their whole selves their employees can take to work
with them. That’s not something that can be decreed with the latest
organizational business trend headline.
Vulnerability Unacknowledged
Front Porch Marketing is in a creative business. Our clients come to us for creative solutions, to find opportunities they don’t see, weaknesses they don’t detect. We can’t do these things without having some empathy for our clients and their customers.
Creativity comes from empathy, an ability to step outside of yourself and into someone else’s shoes. And with empathy, vulnerability often decides to pay a visit too. We must be honest with ourselves and with each other to help our clients. Or else our vulnerabilities can turn into blind spots, dangers just outside our peripheral vision that we know are there but we choose not to see or acknowledge.
But, What Does It Mean?
Anyway, back to that article. Julie and I had an interesting talk about it. We didn’t always see eye to eye, but that’s not why I sent it to her, to convince her one way or another. I guess I wanted to share something that is important to me.
Maybe that’s what bringing your whole self to work means. It
means that you have the opportunity, if you choose to, to share with your
co-workers the things that matter to you, without judgement or fear.
Well, that sounds a lot better than an open office.
We’ve all been there. It’s the eleventh hour before a project is due and you are frantically trying to get work done, kicking yourself all the while for waiting so long. Why oh why did you procrastinate for so long?
Later. Always later.
Why People Procrastinate
People procrastinate for several different reasons, but they pretty much come down to how a task makes them feel – overwhelmed, insecure, anxious, resentful, etc. Procrastination isn’t a character flaw, rather, it’s an “…emotion regulation problem, not a time management problem.”
Human beings are hard-wired to think about the here and now. We tend to prioritize the present over the future. The lizard part of our brain was designed to address clear and present needs – like avoiding getting eaten by a lion or figuring out where our next meal will come from – rather than addressing our long-term needs. And to make matters worse, we’re less able to make productive, future-oriented decisions when under stress.
So, how do we short-circuit our lizard brain to get our work done?
Do one small thing This is my personal favorite. Sometimes a project can seem so overwhelming in scope or importance that you become almost paralyzed at the thought of working on it. Try doing one small thing – a little research, a short outline, breaking down the project into a list of tasks, etc. Sometimes all we need to get started is to just start – no matter how small the step may be.
Create mini deadlines Try setting a mini deadline for yourself. This can be anything from having a draft done by a certain date to just working on your project for 15-30 minutes. Sometimes it helps to know you won’t be working on a project forever if you can see a light at the end of a (short) tunnel.
Don’t be so hard on yourself Give yourself a little kindness when you procrastinate. Case in point:
“In a 2010 study, researchers found that students who were able to forgive themselves for procrastinating when studying for a first exam ended up procrastinating less when studying for their next exam. They concluded that self-forgiveness supported productivity by allowing “the individual to move past their maladaptive behavior and focus on the upcoming examination without the burden of past acts.”
The Upside of Procrastination
I know I’ve been going on and on about how to not procrastinate, but I would also like to say that procrastination isn’t entirely a bad thing. Sometimes we need to let our mind wander around.
(Caveat – this works for tasks that are more problem-solving or creativity oriented. Procrastination doesn’t get your house cleaned.)
Letting your mind wander allows the brain to work on a task in the “background” while you go about your day. Have you ever had a great idea while washing dishes or taking a walk? That’s your brain working on a task in the background.
This blog post is an example of a silver lining to procrastination. I was procrastinating on another project when I decided to Google procrastination. I found a trove of articles and saved them for later use. And that is how this blog post came to be.
So, give yourself a little break and let your mind meander around. Your next five minutes of procrastination could start the seed of your next great idea.
You know that part in the movie “Talladega Nights” where Will Ferrell’s character Ricky Bobby is being interviewed and he doesn’t know what to do with his hands? That is what socializing and networking for me is like, its like I don’t quite know what to do with my hands.
I would rather be at home, binge-watching a show and hanging out with my husband. I like my time alone, in my head, in my little world.
You could say I’m an introvert.
Coffee helps introverts network better.
It’s taken me a long time to realize that my introversion is not some professional character flaw. It has not set me back professionally. My reserved nature means that I have to be mindful about how I manage my attention and energy levels when it comes to networking and socializing. It means knowing that I do better in certain social situations versus others.
For the most part, I do not like, what I like to call, “chamber mixers” or “rubber chicken lunches.” I’m sure you have been to a similar event before – networking events where you are thrown into a room with hundreds of people, eating mediocre appetizers, holding an overpriced beer and trying to talk to random strangers. These events can be very, very painful. The haphazard nature of who attends these events makes it seem like a real-life version of Tinder. But instead of bad dates, you just get bad conversations.
So, what’s the antidote for networking mixers like these?
Structure and Format: An Introvert’s Best Friends
There are other types of networking events besides large
assemblies of random people. In my experience, I feel much more comfortable
attending events that have structure and format built into them (rather than a
networking free-for-all).
Conferences are one of my favorite networking events
because a) they attract a large group of like-minded people and b) you get to
learn something to boot. You can talk to your fellow conference attendees but
don’t forget to talk to the speakers before or after their presentation. If you
do not get the chance to say hi in person, send them an email with a few
thoughtful questions thrown in.
An event series I’ve recently discovered is 1 Million Cups (1MC). 1MC is an event for local entrepreneurs to meet and present their startups to their local business community. The program was developed by the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation and is based on the idea that “entrepreneurs discover solutions and engage with their communities over a million cups of coffee.”
The format of these events goes something like this:
Once a week, two small, local businesses make a short presentation about their business. Then the audience gets to ask them questions and critiques of their business. Lastly, the 1MC moderator will ask the speaker “What can we do help you?”
I like the 1MC events because it gives me something to talk
about (introverts are great at asking lots of questions), it’s a dynamic group
of folks, and the whole event is done over coffee.
Socialize with a Purpose
Another great opportunity to network is by volunteering, or what I like to call, socializing with a purpose. Now, I am not advocating that you volunteer for an organization that you do not have the heart for. I believe that when a person gives, whether that is money or their time, they should give with their whole heart, not expect anything in return, and give to causes they believe in. At the same time, that doesn’t mean you can’t make friends and possible business connections along the way.
When you volunteer, you are automatically joining a group
of like-minded people. This is key – it gives you something to talk about with
your fellow volunteers. And who knows, you might have other things in common.
(You most likely will).
Find an organization or two that you can devote your time
and talents to – organizations that give you the greatest chance of doing good
while also crossing paths with people you might be able to work in the future.
Network & Learn
Learning in a group is a great way to meet people. This can
take the form of a course at a local university or a more focused seminar
series.
Taking a class, much like volunteering, puts you in a
room with like-minded people. And since it’s not a one-time thing, like a
conference or workshop, you can take the time to get to know people and really
bond with your classmates and instructors.
Take a Chance and Expand Your Network
When I was a senior in college, I went to a conference just for new marketing professionals. I went to a panel and there was one speaker who was so funny and engaging, that I made it my mission at that moment to introduce myself, say hi and get his card. Then I ran home to email him (don’t giggle, it was 2004) and thanked him for his time and insights, and I asked him if he would be open to giving me fifteen minutes of his time for an informational interview.
I did several informational interviews with other marketing
professionals over the course of that year and I have to say, most of them were
just okay. But this one interview, with the panelist from the conference,
turned into an internship at United Way of King County, a real milestone in my
early marketing career. When I go to a networking event, I try to keep that
memory in mind – that sometimes all it takes is a hello and a little following
up to spark something big.
Remember, you are not trying to become friends with everyone. That would be exhausting. You are merely trying to widen your social circle a little – just enough for a little bit of luck and opportunity to get through.
Sometimes I think the myth of work/life balance was designed to drive people crazy. People are encouraged, prodded even, to give all aspects of their life equal value and equal effort all the time. Be awesome at work! Have the neatest, tidiest house on the block! Be the perfect spouse!
It’s exhausting. And to a life-long worrier, it’s like cat-nip. If cat-nip was addicting but not at all enjoyable.
It should be called a work/life balancing act – something that is dipping from one side to another, always in flux. The word “balance” alone implies that you should shoot for a neat state of equilibrium all the time. And that is ridiculous.
It is human nature to think that the grass is greener on the other side.
I always look at other people with envy and awe at how much better at adulting everyone else around me seems to be.
Only snippets of people’s lives are visible to us. We don’t see our co-workers frantically trying to hustle their kids out the door in the morning because they’re late for school, or their hour-long commute to work, or the guilt they feel for ordering pizza for dinner because they are too exhausted to even think about making dinner.
Often, we only see people at their best, not at their frantic worst. Everyone, everyone, has rough spots in the lives. No one sails through life on a perfectly calm sea.
Acknowledge that life is like that sometimes
My mom often said “Life is like that sometimes” when I was kid and it drove me crazy. I remember always thinking, “Well, maybe life shouldn’t be like that mom!” Well, my mom was right. Life is messy and the sooner we can accept this, the better.
I don’t think its any coincidence that the first three letters in acknowledge are A-C-K.
Figure out an everyday ritual or routine you can carve out each day
I find that when I take the time in the morning to have some quiet time to myself, have my cup of coffee, journal a little, and read, I feel a lot better. It’s a nice way to start off my day and when the rest of my day goes sideways, as it inevitably does, I can take some solace in having done something for myself.
This ritual can look different for everyone, and it doesn’t have to be the first thing in the morning. Maybe at the end of the night, you can have a mini-spa moment and slather on all the skin-care potions you want. Or start your day with prayer and a moment of gratitude. Whatever your ritual looks like, it can serve as a calming mental anchor when everything else in your day is beyond your control.
Exercise a different part of your brain
I am fortunate that my work involves a variety of tasks and projects. One day I might be designing some graphics for social media, another day I might be writing a marketing plan. I find that being able to switch between two disparate tasks helps with my well-being immensely. If I feel like one task is turning into a brain drain, I can do something else completely different.
What if your job doesn’t involve a lot of variety? Take up a hobby. And I don’t mean watching endless amounts of YouTube (guilty). I think when people hear “hobby” they think of buying a ton of art supplies and painting the next Mona Lisa.
The key to having an enjoyable hobby is to make it sustainable – a hobby that doesn’t take up a lot of time, mental effort or physical space. I used to paint and draw, but honestly, it feels like such a task to break out my paints and brushes sometimes. So, I read or rip into my bajillion magazines and make a mini-collage. Very satisfying and with minimal fuss.
You gotta let that stuff go
Julie says this to me all the time, in a variety of situations. And you know what, it’s true.
Do I think I am going to create the next great invention out of the detritus of my life? No. Do I think the best things often come out of the messiness and happen-stance of life? Yes.
For example…
I was a military child growing up and that meant moving a lot. From Kindergarten to High School, I changed schools nine times and moved six times. As a teenager, I remember thinking to myself “when I grow up, I do not want to marry a military man because I don’t want to move around a lot.” Then Fate said, “Hold my beer” and I married a railroader instead.
We have moved four times in eleven years and have never lived in one place more than four years. Moving around so much can be hard (getting a house ready to sell is exhausting). But I have made some great friends along the way and built my skillset in a way that has helped my career immensely.
And all that moving around as a kid was good for me too. It’s how I met my husband.
In college, I was worried about what in the world I was going to do with a History degree. One day, I literally stumbled upon a poster in the College of Arts & Sciences building that listed all the career fields you can go into with a liberal arts degree. And one of those fields was Public Relations. That set me on the career path in marketing that I am still on today.
In the moment, it’s difficult to see how all of this will play out in the end
It’s only in looking back that we can see that the hardest times can create fortitude, a skill or a friendship that helps us in the present. My first real job out of college, working for a PR agency, was like a PR bootcamp. It was hard. It was stressful. But I learned so much and there are skills I picked up during that time in my life that I still use today.
Plus, it’s how I met Julie. And thirteen years later, when she was looking for someone to join her agency, and I had just moved back to Texas, it all came together.
No one knows how life is going to turn out. Sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down. So, instead of trying to chase down something that doesn’t exist and seemingly only serves to drive people crazy – like work/life balance – embrace the mess and accept the uncertainty. Your house will be a wreck, you will miss your kid’s soccer game, you will blow it at work.
It’s in the small, everyday efforts and messy moments of life that you are building up to something greater. You just don’t know it yet.
